| Best Joke: |
| Im Not Warren Buffett |
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27% |
[ 3 ] |
| Raspberry24 |
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36% |
[ 4 ] |
| gogeta9118 |
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18% |
[ 2 ] |
| rodder4hire |
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18% |
[ 2 ] |
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| Total Votes : 11 |
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| Author |
Message
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| $$bilyal |
 Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 1:02 am Post subject: |
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Investing Sr. Associate
Joined: 18 Mar 2006
Posts: 57
This Month: 0
13289.26 e$
Net worth: 14,520.26
Portfolio Value: 1,231.00
Monthly Return: -3.79%
Trades this month: 5
Churn Rate: 15.25%Items
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How many stockbrokers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes |
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| $$bilyal |
| Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 1:07 am Post subject: |
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Investing Sr. Associate
Joined: 18 Mar 2006
Posts: 57
This Month: 0
13289.26 e$
Net worth: 14,520.26
Portfolio Value: 1,231.00
Monthly Return: -3.79%
Trades this month: 5
Churn Rate: 15.25%Items
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What's the difference between a bull market and a bear market?
A bull market is a random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
A bear market is a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex. |
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| $$bilyal |
| Posted: Sun Mar 19, 2006 1:08 am Post subject: |
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Investing Sr. Associate
Joined: 18 Mar 2006
Posts: 57
This Month: 0
13289.26 e$
Net worth: 14,520.26
Portfolio Value: 1,231.00
Monthly Return: -3.79%
Trades this month: 5
Churn Rate: 15.25%Items
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Stockbroker: What is a million years like to you?
God: Like one second.
Stockbroker: What is a million dollars like to you?
God: Like one penny.
Stockbroker: Can I have a penny?
God: Just a second ... |
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| emkie |
| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 6:37 am Post subject: |
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Investing Sr. Associate
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The young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night and demanded $20 for their first love-making encounter. In his highly aroused state, he readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love for the next 30 years, him thinking it was a cute way for her to buy new clothes, etc.
Arriving home around noon one day, she found her husband in a very drunken state. Over the next few minutes she heard of the ravages of financial ruin caused by corporate down sizing and it's effects on a 50 year old executive.
Calmly, she handed him a bank book showing deposits and interest for 12 years totaling nearly $1 million dollars. Pointing across the parking lot she gestured toward the local bank while handing him stock certificates worth nearly $2 million dollars and informing him that he was the largest stockholder in the bank. She told him that for 30 years she had charged him each time they had sex , and this was the result of her investments.
By now he was distraught and beating his head against the side of the car. She asked him why the disappointment at such good news and he replied, "If I had known what you were doing, I would have given you all of my business!" |
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| Benjamin |
| Posted: Wed Mar 29, 2006 6:46 am Post subject: |
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Administrator
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Great one emkie!  |
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stock market game on the web. At eInvesting you compete for monthly cash prizes while you interact, make virtual dollars, purchase items, and trade in the realistic stock market simulator. We make investing FUN!
