| Best Joke: |
| Im Not Warren Buffett |
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27% |
[ 3 ] |
| Raspberry24 |
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36% |
[ 4 ] |
| gogeta9118 |
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18% |
[ 2 ] |
| rodder4hire |
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18% |
[ 2 ] |
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| Total Votes : 11 |
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| Author |
Message
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| Benjamin |
 Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 4:38 pm Post subject: Financial Joke Contest |
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Administrator
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LET THE VOTING BEGIN!
Voting will go through Friday at 5pm ET
Investing can get boring at times. Lets try to spice it up by posting jokes that are finance/money/investing related!
You can post up to three jokes and then I'll pick a top 10 and we'll all vote for the best. Please have all jokes submitted by Wednesday and we'll start voting and have a winner by 5pm ET on Friday.
Top joke gets a:
 Corvette worth 21,000 e$!
2nd place: 5,000 e$
3rd Place: 3,000 e$
Here's a really bad one to start:
Q: Why doesn't money grow on trees?
A: Because the banks control all of the branches.
[Moderator Edit: De-announcified as the game for this topic is over. Dave]
Last edited by Benjamin on Wed Dec 21, 2005 6:59 am; edited 1 time in total |
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| Im Not Warren Buffett |
| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 5:40 pm Post subject: |
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CFO
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Whats the difference between a bumbling old man with Alzheimer's and an economist?
The economist is carrying a calculator. |
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| Im Not Warren Buffett |
| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 6:11 pm Post subject: |
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CFO
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| An investment banker dies and goes to heaven. He is waiting in a long line to see St. Peter, when St. Peter leaves his desk at the gates, walks to the back of the line, greets the investment banker, and brings him up to the front. The investment banker is slightly confused, and asks "Why am I getting such special treatment?". St. Peter responds, "According to how many hours you billed your clients, you are at least 170 years old". |
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| raspberry24 |
| Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 6:59 pm Post subject: |
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Member of the Month
May
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There was an investor who had three girlfriends, but he didn't know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spends it. The first one goes out and gets a total make over with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the investor, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much." The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much." The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much." The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money, and then decided.
QUESTION: Who did the investor marry?
ANSWER: (from right to left) !stit tseggib eht htiw eno ehT |
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| rodder4hire |
| Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2005 3:33 am Post subject: |
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Investing Manager
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 242
This Month: 0
Location: CT
27844.06 e$
Net worth: 73,160.66
Portfolio Value: 45,316.60
Monthly Return: -2.95%
Trades this month: 0
Churn Rate: 0.00%Items
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| raspberry24 |
| Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2005 4:57 pm Post subject: |
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Member of the Month
May
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Thanks. I thought it was good. DO you think its 1st place material?  |
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| barloy |
| Posted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 3:49 pm Post subject: cool |
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Investing Sr. Associate
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| that is a cool car to have |
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| gogeta9118 |
| Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 9:34 am Post subject: |
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Investing Sr. Associate
Joined: 08 Nov 2005
Posts: 125
This Month: 0
94368.48 e$
Net worth: 158,816.88
Portfolio Value: 64,448.40
Monthly Return: -7.04%
Trades this month: 4
Churn Rate: 0.00%Items
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The Walton's invited their new neighbors over to dinner. During dinner Mr.Walton was asked what he did for a living.
Eight years old Brian Walton jumped in and said, "Daddy is a fisherman!" To which Mrs.Walton replied, "Brian, why do say that. Your daddy is a stockbroker, not a fisherman."
"No mom. Everytime we visit dad at work and he hangs up the phone he laughs, rubs his hands together and says 'I just caught another fish'." |
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| gogeta9118 |
| Posted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 9:38 am Post subject: |
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Investing Sr. Associate
Joined: 08 Nov 2005
Posts: 125
This Month: 0
94368.48 e$
Net worth: 158,816.88
Portfolio Value: 64,448.40
Monthly Return: -7.04%
Trades this month: 4
Churn Rate: 0.00%Items
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- If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.
- Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready. "I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it's the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others" he is told by the doorman.
Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss. So the doorman leads him to the dorm. They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants. "See, Here is your first room mate. He has an IQ of 180!"
"Why that's wonderful!" Says Albert. "We can discuss mathematics!"
"And here is your second room mate. His IQ is 150!"
"Why that's wonderful!" Says Albert. "We can discuss physics!"
"And here is your third room mate. His IQ is 100!"
"That Wonderful! We can discuss the latest plays at the theater!"
Just then another man moves out to capture Albert's hand and shake it. "I'm your last room mate and I'm sorry, but my IQ is only 80."
Albert smiles back at him and says, "So, where do you think interest rates are headed?" |
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| rodder4hire |
| Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 5:25 am Post subject: |
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Investing Manager
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 242
This Month: 0
Location: CT
27844.06 e$
Net worth: 73,160.66
Portfolio Value: 45,316.60
Monthly Return: -2.95%
Trades this month: 0
Churn Rate: 0.00%Items
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A stock analyst and an a Wall Street stock broker went to the races. The broker suggested a 10,000 bet on a horse. The broker wispered that he knew a secret algorithm for success, but he could not convince the analyst.
"You are too theoretical," he said and bet on a horse. Sure enough, the horse he bet on came in and paid him a lot of money. Triumphantly he exclaimed "I told you I know the secret!"
"What is your secret?" the analyst asked.
"It is rather easy" replied the broker "I have two kids aged three and five. I sum up their ages and bet on number nine."
"But, three and five is eight!" exclaimed the analyst.
"I told you, you are too theoretical!" the broker replied "Haven't I just shown experimentally that my calculation is correct???" |
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| rodder4hire |
| Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 5:32 am Post subject: |
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Investing Manager
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 242
This Month: 0
Location: CT
27844.06 e$
Net worth: 73,160.66
Portfolio Value: 45,316.60
Monthly Return: -2.95%
Trades this month: 0
Churn Rate: 0.00%Items
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Secrectary of State Colin Powell returned from a diplomatic mission to Iraq and reported to President Bush "I have good news and I have bad news."
"Well Mr. Secretary, I'd like the good news first." replied Mr. Bush
Secretary Powell replied "Saddam Hussein has agreed to all of our demands. He will submit to inspections of anything we want to see. All facilities and all records will be opened for examination."
The President replied "That is really great news! What's the bad news?"
"He wants the inspectors to come from Arthur Anderson." |
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| Benjamin |
| Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 7:00 am Post subject: |
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Administrator
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Please vote!
Someone will walk away with a Vett! |
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| gogeta9118 |
| Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 8:46 am Post subject: |
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Investing Sr. Associate
Joined: 08 Nov 2005
Posts: 125
This Month: 0
94368.48 e$
Net worth: 158,816.88
Portfolio Value: 64,448.40
Monthly Return: -7.04%
Trades this month: 4
Churn Rate: 0.00%Items
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| i vote for gogeta9118. He smells good. |
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| barloy |
| Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 3:14 pm Post subject: joke |
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Investing Sr. Associate
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| joke one poor sole tring to learn this here stock game still tring lol |
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| akh098 |
| Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2006 1:17 pm Post subject: |
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Investing VP
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I missed this game as i joined forums late  |
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stock market game on the web. At eInvesting you compete for monthly cash prizes while you interact, make virtual dollars, purchase items, and trade in the realistic stock market simulator. We make investing FUN!
